It is easy to go through life thinking we are really clear about who we are and what we care about. We assume our teams understand our hearts, and our core values. We often think pretty highly of our efforts to communicate our care and build relationship with those we manage, but occasionally, once in awhile, something happens to disrupt this assumption. And it hurts.
Recently a client contacted me to prepare for a next wave of hiring. She was examining what was working about her current leadership, and trying to assess the level of connection she had with them. What she wanted in the next couple leaders was more of a tribe-vibe. This particular organization worked best when people were in alignment with the core values and truly wanted to be there.
To discover what was working, I asked her to survey the current leaders for a little feedback using an exercise from The Grounding, my ten-week self-coaching program. The overwhelming data that came back was very revealing to her. It being apparent that although her intention was to appear authentic, approachable, and inviting, her employees did not use any of those words to describe her. Her impact did not seem match her intention.
This was very triggering for her at first. But from this data, she was able to create a huge shift. She is now brainstorming what kind of technology and system could help her to stay engaged with nurturing these relationships without sacrificing her core value of promoting personal responsibility. She is also planning to incorporate more teambuilding events that will allow everyone to see more each other outside the context of work and create the kind of alignment the organization was hungry for.
In her effort to help them stand on their own feet, she admitted that sometimes she had been less than empathetic. She also realized that in keeping her own vulnerability to a minimum, she didn't open up a big channel for personal relationship. She wanted to explore that a bit.
Her next step will be to set clear intentions and innovate a few systems that allow for her to hear more feedback and examine the impact she is creating. This includes a daily check in with her own needs, how she plans to use her strengths, and getting outdoors a lot more so she can be mindful of her 'center' and connect to it more often. With this data, she will be empowered to select more talent and know how to steer her managing style to create the desired result.
For managers, it's not always about people liking you. But it is about building trust and keeping it.
Are you ready to have more alignment in your relationships at work without sacrificing the values and standards of your organization? Contact me for a free consultation and let's explore this together. firstname.lastname@example.org